argh.. its the insecure feeling i have again. I wonder why? it was like I was given the LOOK again -.-
i shant say who, cos its probably just me and my horrible or maybe AMAZING attitude.....
i had a feeling i am HATED to the core by many people who are pissed off at me(though i can probably guess why, im just a girl carrying a violin, i dont even dare to say im a musician/violinist)...
Performing is not my passion, so i've never really practiced in school for my majoring instrument, but i still regret not practicing it.. i want some encouragement, i want some passion.. but why wont it come out?? Though its strange, Hartung is the most passionate drive i had in school.. cos its most probably just me...
im depressed...
looking at 2 juniours who are according to age, older than me, and watching them practice.. i feel like practicing too..
instead of being a good seniour... should i say im being a horrible one? I cant even play better than them! I just the worst la! I think im hated by many la... my name is not even on the strings ensemb list: a forgotten existence(or should i say i shouldnt be there but i DO go from time to time)
i feel like asking for some lessons from hartung now... my sight reading sucks to the core man.. i cant read linear notes at all.. i wonder why.. i see notes and i go crazy... is there a way to curb this problem?
Next, i think i can totally flunk studio recording test today. its a totally gone case when all the questions are just either half answered or left blank. i give up.. i cant remember the ear diagram, nor can i remember the dBspl graph anymore... im falling apart soon... in fact.. im falling apart TOO SOON!
this is just super great... school just started not too long ago and im stressed up! amazing.
apologies to hui min(i think thats the name of the trumpet girl) for making her move the brass instruments around due to the change of rooms yet i totally forgot. Hay Jin for moving the trumpet/stands and Joseph for holding whatever's left... i'm so sorry for making u guys move around back and forth due to MY mistaking of rooms where we have our class... imverysorry.imverysorry.imverysorry.imverysorry
.imverysorry.imverysorry.imverysorry.imverysorry.
i think im even more hated than amelia now... i have said something wrong... but what have i said??? Only time will tell.